Adopt A Scarf / Am I Crazy?

So Carrie has been knitting away like a knitting machine. And I have been trying to remember how to program a website. You may be asking yourself what is the outcome of these two things, and I am going to tell you: www.adoptascarf.com It is a ok website with some awesome knitted products with all the proceeds going to help fund our adoption. So it is neat and we use paypal so it is safe too. Anyways, this week in adoption news we had our psych evaluations done. I know I am not crazy, but taking that test sure made me question my sanity. With questions like, "Are your thoughts broadcast to others?" "Are your favorite hobbies archery and stamp collecting?" Some question about a random poet being your favorite or even "Do you believe that you are going to be famous?" Just trying to ask those made me feel crazy, because I kept thinking to myself what sane person has to answer this junk. Plus it was like 323 questions which is a lot because with all the negative, double negatives and I believe one triple negative my brain got tired. Don't worry I ratted out all my friends and family members who I think may be crazy. You know who you are. Just joking, but I am guessing if I had I probably would have failed. There was also a personality test with a and b questions. I decided that after taking it I don't have a personality. I am introverted and extroverted. I think my personality might have failed that test, but that is ok. I like me, and Carrie likes me. No she loves me. Hope you enjoy www.adoptascarf.com.

Road Work Ahead - Expect Delays

"Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." Matthew 17:20

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Today we found out that everything having to do with the program where S is is up in the air. They are scrambling to get the couples that are already in the middle of things there settled before they will even begin to think about new couples. We also found out that it's likely we won't get much more information on S other than what we already have, which is not a lot. Our caseworker basically explained that if we want S we need to be prepared for major delays.

It felt like decision time. Do we go for S, knowing only that nothing is sure, not even that we would get him at the end since the Russian government could decide at any time to refer him to someone else? Or do we give up on S and start submitting our paperwork in order to get a referral?

I think both Tim and I were sort of at a loss for a few minutes. I sat at my desk staring at the email trying desperately to make sense of everything they were telling me. Part of me very much wanted to not care about S. I wanted to be able to say that it was too much of a hassle and we could just move on. I couldn't do it. I emailed Tim and waited for him to pull the trigger. Yes S, no S. Finally he said what I was thinking. We can't just give up on S because it's a little scarier.

And I started thinking about Faith. Faith is being certain of things we can't see. We can't see S's records, or his history and we can't be certain that this is going to work out just like I want it to. But I have Faith in God that if S is meant to be ours it's as easy as saying "Move mountain!" and it will.

Holy Crap!

So we finally got 99.9% of our initial paperwork in and we have now been assigned a case worker which is awesome. But what is a little less awesome is that we have to get more background checks. Really it is not that bad, and we're glad to have someone who is actually assigned to us to ask my one or two questions and Carrie's 3 million questions. Carrie is a question asker and a fretter and I like to wing it, and it is a good thing we are paired together, because otherwise I would ask no questions and have no idea what is going on or Carrie would ask every question that comes to mind and drive them crazy. But anyways to the crap, we have been praying for a particular boy that we have saw on the website. We are not suppose to say their names or post pictures so that is why we gave him the generic name of S. But since we have been assigned a case worker now (Yay!) she will give us more information about S. We know where S is located and found out that the agency in that country that would assist with our adoption agency lost their license. So that really stinks, but apparently this is not too bad. Might just delay some things. Onto the Holy part, S might have a sister, and neither of us were terribly frightened, upset or worried about this information. In fact, we were both a little joyful. Carrie told me this and did not even mention how she felt about it. And I got really excited. I don't know why, but something God related must be the case. I think after we talked a little longer we had both decided that we could think of a lot of reasons why it wouldn't work, but none of them were really valid. Reasons like it costs more; I might lose my man room (which is going to be converted into the man room/guest room); it will be a lot more work; and so on. God will provide. Adoption is a step of faith to us, so why not add two more little feet.

(Ok, so I don't really completely understand why we have a blog if I don't actually say what is going on in my head. After I wrote that sentence I got up and did a walking version of the robot dance while thinking "Little feet, little feet" over and over in my head at my office. Yes, sometimes I am a little strange.)

So after we had talked about it some more, Carrie emails me and says can we name her to Anastasia? I replied no. Her response was, "We changed the cats' names." First, off we are not changing someone's name based OFF OF A CARTOON MOVIE (I would double bold that if that exists). And second, children are not cats. Children are a number of things, but they are not cats. They may act like Marshmallow the Black Kitty (my niece), but I know for a fact that they are not cats.

Green Light

Yesterday was a day. After a fun, but exhausting weekend I was determined to get the rest of the paperwork in to Bethany. The only thing left aside from the doctors forms which have to wait until Friday when I have an appointment are these "Criminal Background Inquiries" that need to be filled out by the police department. Bethany made it sound like it was as easy as walking into the precinct and asking. So I did. Bad idea. The little guy sitting behind a plexi glass window spent probably thirty seconds giving me this blank look while I tried to explain what I needed, would not even look at the forms themselves to see if he could help me, and then said "We don't do that, you have to go downtown." I was so mad that I couldn't say anything and I just smiled at him and walked out. When I got into my car I was practically in tears. I'm sure this was a combination of being very tired, being very hot, and having just wasted my lunch hour for nothing but at that moment it was just too much. I wanted those papers turned in. I wanted to be able to email Bethany and say "Everything is turned in, please answer my questions now." This whole patience thing is not working out for me. So I did what most frustrated wives probably do. I called my husband and told him he had to deal with this. I was done. Poor Tim. I'm so lucky I have such a wonderful husband because a lesser man would have probably hung up on me. He's going to go downtown today and get them filled out and mailed. Thank the Lord. And then something miraculous happened. Yesterday in the mail our mortgage company sent us a check. A big check. This is highly unusual since it's usually the other way around. Something about escrow and something or other being too much. I didn't really care, I just wanted to know if we were going to have to send it back. Tim doesn't think so and it's about half the cost of the homestudy. It was like finally hitting a green light when every other light yesterday felt red. God is good to us and his timing is always perfect.

Health Department Blues

My employer allows me to take sick days for doctor's appointments, so that is what I did yesterday, took a whole day off for 4 doctors appointments (Carrie had to just take a day off). I felt like it might be a little selfish, because I figured we would spend maybe 4 hours between driving and waiting to go. Oh I was wrong, dead wrong. And while waiting in the STD testing room at the Metro Health Department for an HIV test I realized that this just might be the place where people go to die. We were suppose get a TB test there also, but it took too long to get the HIV test. If that wasn't bad enough (it really wasn't) the test took a total time of about 15 seconds. All they did was swab my mouth. We waited 20 minutes for results(or so they said more like 45 minutes) and we were done. We did pop our heads into the TB testing place, and I think we possibly could have been infected with TB for doing that. So we left the health department knowing that we were HIV free. Between the scary people in there and the guys hitting on another woman we made it out alive, barely. Yes, I would think that an STD testing facility would be the last place you would want to hit on a woman, but I guess "true love" can happen anywhere. Then we were off to the actual doctor. Carrie had a hard time with her doctor. I had a much better time. The nurse was very nice, and I was like "this is good maybe the doctor will not give me a hard time about adoption." So he was very friendly to me. Much more than last time I saw him and he was very willing to help me and fill out the form. Turns out he and his sister had been adopted, and his wife was adopted too. He was very pro-adoption. Not sure if he was a Christian, but it was just nice to have some postive reinforcement for our decision and God's choice for us. After this we went to the walk in clinic and got our remaining tests the TB test and my drug screeing. Don't worry I ate 15 poppy seed muffins the night before I think I will do fine. This was also a much better experience than the health department. I guess at this point just about anything is better than the health department. I mean at the health department where I had my HIV test done there was an examination room/copier room. At the walk in clinic, I had an actual examination room there was no copier in it. Anyways, we made it yesterday and got home later than a normal day of work. I would have much rather been at work. That was not a fun day, but we are done with doctors and STD testees hitting on other STD testees. Give us a virtual high five.