Dedication

Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies,

If you'll take a good, hard look at my pain,

If you'll quit neglecting me and go into action for me

By giving me a son,

I'll give him completely, unreservedly to you.

I'll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.

Before the year was out, Hannah had conceived and given birth to a son. She named him Samuel, explaining, "I asked God for him."

When Elkanah next took his family on their annual trip to Shiloh to worship God, offering sacrifices and keeping his vow, Hannah didn't go. She told her husband, "After the child is weaned, I'll bring him myself and present him before God—and that's where he'll stay, for good."

1 Samuel 1:10-11, 20-22, The Message

When we started our adoption I had a cursory knowledge of the story of Hannah and Samuel. Since then it has taken on a special significance. We didn't name Sam "Sam", it was simply the code name Bethany had given him on their list. But the story took hold along with the name. Sam was a son desperately wanted by his mother. I related to the pain Hannah feels in her waiting. For almost a year I thought of Hannah and her fervent prayer and felt it in my heart.



The thing I didn't remember is the second half of Hannah's prayer.



We had baby dedications this week at church. I expected them to make me sad because I really thought Sam would be home by the time these dedications rolled around. But I wasn't sad. I was happy for the parents up there and looking forward to the day I can dedicate Sam to the Lord. Hannah didn't just ask God for a son. She also dedicated his life to God. I am really learning that Sam's life belongs to God. Any moment I get to spend being his mom is a privilege and a gift. I think about how Hannah must have cherished those moments every year when she could visit Samuel at the temple and how proud of him she must have been.



God had big plans for Samuel's life. God has big plans for Sam's life. I'm just lucky that I'll get to play a small part in them.

Things to do

While having a Russian induced nervous breakdown

By Tim and Carrie

- Write a very long rant about how much Russia sucks
- Eat all the twizzlers in your co-worker's desk because she didn't show up for work today
- Regret eating all the twizzlers in your co-workers desk
- Drive around Brentwood in your car for an hour listening to old songs on your i-pod and skipping any that may be adoption related
- Eat a chik-fil-a kids meal in your car sitting in the parking lot while mumbling to yourself and hope no one you know sees you
- Vow to start fasting. Decide you will eat nothing but ice cream until you have a court date
- Try and google exactly how much it will cost to overnight one piece of paper to St. Petersburg without an exact address

Any more suggestions?

Needless to say we do not have a court date. What we have instead is another form to fill out that says basically exactly what all the other forms said. It also included our favorite question of all time: Why do you want to adopt? The reasons we put have gotten more and more far fetched because we can say nothing about religion, altruism, loving Sam, or anything nice.

There goes another week. Bring on the twizzlers and ice cream.

Things not to do

Here are some things not to do.

1. Plan your life based on your perceived adoption schedule.

2. Ask a 4 year old how to be nice to friends. (This results in very convoluted stories about how someone was not nice to someone else.)

3. Assume that when Russia gives you a random date pulled out of thin air that it means anything.

Today is August 20th. A long time ago (really it wasn't that long, like 2 months) they told us the judge was coming back from vacation on August 20th. We spent the last 2 months waiting for August 20th. We pondered what "back from vacation" meant and why she would come back on a Friday. Turns out August 20th actually means August 23rd. Which probably doesn't mean August 23rd. And I am trying very very hard not to get my hopes up. I want to believe that we could go back in 3 weeks. I want to believe that by mid-September I will hold my sweet Sam in my arms again. But mostly I am not doing those things.

For a long time I was very angry about this. Very angry. It seemed unjust and unfair and mean. But I'm not anymore. God loves Sam more than I do. God knows just how his life should go. I was reminded during worship this past weekend that God's love spans the miles between us. When I worry about his little heart feeling sad or anxious I have to trust that God comforts him.

Next week in St. Petersburg, Russia court is back in session. Pray that our case is presented quickly. Pray that the judge finds favor with our case and grants us a court date. Pray that God's glory would be magnified.

How high, how deep
How far reaching is Your love
Great is Your love
So high, so deep
So far reaching is Your love
Great is your perfect
So unfailing, so unending is Your love
Great is Your perfect love.

We have launched the website!

We have relaunched http://www.adoptascarf.com/ (we will now be selling t-shirts). Please visit and buy.

August

Did you know that August can mean three different things? Of course it's the 8th month of the Gregorian calendar. It can also mean venerable, dignified or noble. It is also apparently a type of clown.

It also means sweet relief from the interminable month that was July. July was full of a whole bunch of things we did not expect to be in Nashville for. I've never liked July in my whole life and this had to be one of the worst.

But now it's over. The judge comes back from vacation in 2 weeks and 1 day so hopefully we will find something out by the end of the month.

In other news, we are starting a new fundraiser selling awesome T-shirts designed by the one and only Tim Tweten for the very reasonable prices of $12 and $14. Go here and check them out. I for one am very excited about it.

That's all the news that's fit to print. Really. Unless you want to hear about the very long road trip we took two weeks ago to see the Superman statue in Metropolis, IL, but I don't think you do.