Questions

There are lots of questions people ask you when you tell them you are going to adopt. Some of these questions are harmless and some of these questions are going to make me pull all of my hair out before long. Questions like "Are you sure about this?", "Can you afford it?", "Did you know that adopting will completely change your life?" (they do not mean this in a good way.) What really irks me about this is that not one of these people would say these things if I told them I was having a baby. My doctor (she's new and I'm not sure I like her.) asked me the last question when I saw her this week and needed a form filled out for the agency and it struck me as highly insensitive. If I had gone in her office and told her my husband and I wanted to have a baby she probably would have told me how to go about it. Instead I felt like I had been doused in cold water. This is the reason I don't want to tell people about the adoption unless I know how they'll react. I haven't told anyone at work. I feel both selfish and cowardly. Part of this process is supposed to be a ministry. I want to challenge people to think about their own families and to think about the children who live all over this planet with no one to love them. And instead I'm hiding it because I don't want to explain myself. I don't want to tell people that yes I can have a baby, but I want S. I think God is definately a part of this process, but I also think Satan is doing everything he can to make me want to give up, to make me feel discouraged, to make me feel scared and alone. And for those of you who don't know, I'm also getting my masters. Normally it would be a bad idea to do these two things at once. But God's timing is God's timing. Tomorrow is my last day of summer classes and then I'll have two whole weeks to focus on getting the adoption stuff done. We're being held up at the moment by a million medical tests and the fact that the US passport office has the bulk of our important documentation. Next Friday is my goal to get as much of the rest of it in as possible. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.

Both Hands Foundation

Yesterday, we met with JT Olson who runs the Both Hands Foundation. It is really an incredible foundation, and I have a strange connection to knowing JT outside of his foundation. His son, Max, is in my small group at Fellowship. Anyways, Both Hands is a great foundation that pairs adopting families with widows. It is all based on James 1:27 (Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.[ESV]). It is an incredible idea and an incredible way for us to help pay for adoption. It breaks down like this we raise money by donating our time to help a widow with various household chores, eminence and landscaping that she would normally not be able to complete. How that works is JT has strategic partners with contractors, home building supply stores and various other vendors, which he uses to help provide some of the supplies to us. We then ask for support from our friends and families to help support the workers for the time they spend helping the widow. They in turn give that money to us to help pay for our adoption. It is a wonderful opportunity for us to give back and receive all at once. In the coming weeks, we are going to be asking for workers and support. For more information go to www.bothhandsfoundation.org. Also, watch this cool video we attached below

Let the paperchase begin!

As of yesterday, Tim and I have officially applied to be adoptive parents! The formal application, as well as a bunch of other paperwork, and a rather large check were put in the mail yesterday and will hopefully be at Bethany on Monday. It feels official now. It feels like I can say "Tim and I are adopting a child" now and not just that we're thinking about it.

We're still trying to get more info on S. Pastor Marty said it would be a good idea to get a better picture of his background and we agreed. Hopefully there won't be anything there we aren't prepared to handle. I'm still a little unsure of what we could handle. I ask myself a hundred questions a day. Would we be able to care for a child who were deaf? What about a child that didn't talk? What about a child with slight medical needs? This needs to be prayed about more I guess. God will bring us the right child at the right time and if that child is S than that's wonderful.

I do feel like even if S isn't meant for us this isn't all for naught. In the past few weeks I've become S's prayer warrior. I pray for him constantly. Pray that he's laughing, or that he's warm, or that he's not hungry. Pray that he can sense God's love and our love even in the orphanage. I pray that someone would make him a paper airplane like I do for Kal, the four-year-old that visits my Sunday school class. I pray that he's not sad and that he can come home with us soon. I pray about new spiderman sneakers. I pray that he can wait, and we can wait. I pray for joy in the waiting.

It does sort of feel like people are trying to get us to adopt a baby or a younger child, but Tim and I both feel like God is calling us in a different direction. A four or five year-old is much less likely to get adopted than a baby and I feel like this is the right direction. We know that it will be harder but both of us love a good challenge. God is preparing our child just like he's preparing us. I know it.

Provision

Tim talked about risky business. I feel like taking a prayerful risk means trusting God to take care of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. Including the $40,000+ that this is going to cost us. (Yes, you read that number right.) When I think about that number for too long I get a little short of breath and wonder how in the world this will ever be possible. But God is bigger than that number. Much bigger. He's given both Tim and I a sense of peace that this is possible, but we have to ask for help. And to that end we wanted to let you, our friends and family, know how you might be able to be a part of this crazy adventure. At work we do what's called R&O's, which stands for Risks and Opportunities. We're asking you to take a risk with us so that S can have the opportunity to change all of our lives. In the coming months there will be lots of ways you can help. Stitches for S (more on that later), the opportunity to make Tim run really far, really fast, some other fundraising ideas we're looking into and then there is the easy way. Well two easy ways really. See that little paypal thingy over there? We suggest $10, but if you feel lead to give a different amount we also have a button for that. In two minutes or less you can give just a little bit to help bring S home. If you don't want to use paypal, or you want it to be tax deductible our church is setting up that fund as we speak... or blog. If everyone gave just a little bit S could be home before we know it!

Risky Business

We met with Pastor Marty yesterday at Fellowship. He is the children’s pastor and the man when it comes to adoption at our church. He asked if I was a risk taker. I guess we all decided that I was an "Informed Risk Taker." Don't how much of a risk taker that makes me, but we are going full steam ahead. That seems like a risk to me, but I am excited about it. We don't know where we are going to adopt from or where the money is going to come from. NO IDEA, where it is going to come from, but I realized I just do not care, because if this truly and wholly from God then it shouldn't matter. I am excited to see the ways God provides for us above what He already does. You know the easy way out would be to win the lottery or just be given a bunch of money, but that will do nothing for Carrie or my own walk with God. I think Romans 5:3-6 sums it up best, "Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." Maybe not so much the suffering, but the rest applies. I don't think this process is going to stop when our adoption is completed. It is much easier to have your own child and raise it from birth. There are no unknown issues. We know our own medical history. We can love and raise a baby from the time it is conceived. It is a risk. We have been called to love a risk and that is exactly what we are going to do.

S

When you first get in contact with an agency or anywhere they send you links to dozens of pictures of kids waiting to be adopted. It sort of feels like your on match.com or something, looking at pictures and short blurbs and feeling like you should choose one. Which feels awful. All of them are cute and need parents and are special and beloved by God. For awhile I was falling in love with a different kid a day. And then there was S. S's picture was only posted last week and there is no information attached aside from the fact that he's basically healthy, he's 4, and he's in Eastern Europe somewhere. The picture is blurry and he's not smiling. And I fell in love. Tim doesn't really believe me yet. He thinks it'll pass like it did with the rest of them. I think he doesn't really want to get attached to anyone as a sort of protection measure. So I pray for S, I pray about S. I worry about him and check hourly to see if any more information has been posted. Someone said when it's supposed to be your child you'll know. And I think S is mine. As for the other stuff, the paper work is getting done. I finally finished the actual formal application last night, I sent off for my new passport, Tim's going in to the post office on Saturday to get his. I have a self imposed deadline of the 31st for getting most of this stuff done. Some of it we can't control (like sending the marriage license in with my passport and not wanting to get another one). Tim doesn't quite understand my impatience but S is waiting for us. I know it. P.S. Tim says I'm being mean to him and I didn't intend that at all. I know Tim is excited and I know he's supportive when I get all crazy about this stuff. I also know that he is ten times more cautious than I am. He's the smart one, I am not. I will get my heart crushed by this process and he will have to pick up the pieces. Almost unavoidable. I just want him to be like me and he's not. Plus I'm trying to convince him on S. Not that I'm the one who should do the convincing, that's up to God. But I'm praying about that too ;-)

Tim's Thoughts

Hi, I am Tim. Most of you know me and some of you don't. I guess that is the beauty of the internet. As my wife Carrie has said previously, we have begun the long process of adoption. I am not really sure how I felt about adopting myself. I guess I thought it is one of those things you do if you cannot have children yourself. But the reality is that God has asked us to take care of the widows and children. I am about 99% sure that God has not called me to adopt a widow, but on the other, hand I am 100% sure that He has called us to adopt. In fact, not only has God called us to adopt He has called Carrie and I to adopt first. I think this is incredible, because someday we can tell our child that God chose you first for our family. First, that is how much you mean to us. I just feel so blessed that God has called us to do this.

Here we go!

For those of you that don't know us, I'm Carrie and he's Tim. We're both 26 and were married on May 2, 2008. We currently have no kids unless you count the three cats (I don't, Tim does). We hope to tell everyone all about our adoption from the beginning stages (where we are now) to hopefully the day when we bring our new son or daughter home. So the first question, why adoption? Tim can answer this himself, but as for me, I've always wanted to adopt children since I was a little girl. It always upset me that there were so many children in the world without parents. That idea has only intesified as I've gotten older and as my biological clock starts itching for babies now seems like the right time. Tim is very passionate about adopting first which is fine with me. We have been so blessed by God and would only be blessed further by expanding our family. Why international adoption? At first Tim and I weren't too particular about domestic vs. international but the idea of international adoption has become very close to my heart for several reasons. The U.S. is so wealthy that even orphans in this country are better off than most children. Since we are looking to adopt an older child (hopefully between the ages of 2-5) going internation makes even more sense. So there you have it. We are at the very beginning stages at the moment. We've already met with Bethany Christian Services and I'm about 99% sure we're going to use them. We're drowning in paper work, overwhelmed by the cost, trying to get passports updated, and faithful in the knowledge that if this is God's plan he'll take care of all of it in his time. Keep us in your prayers and we'll keep you updated!