I've been thinking about this post for months it seems like. It's weird to talk about and hard to think about, so posting about it was not exactly on the top of the list of things I wanted to do.
This is the post about Ellie.
We really wanted Ellie. We bought some little girl clothes and were planning where to put the crib and even painted Sam's room a gender neutral color. There were several months where it sounded like we would get her. And then a few months where they weren't sure. And then we got to Russia and were told that basically she was too sick to be adopted and that even America probably wouldn't let her enter the country.
At the time we were consumed with being in Russia and meeting Sam and it was easy to push it aside.
But I think about her daily. I'm sad that Sam won't know his sister. There will always be a little hole in our family where she would have gone.
But God has plans we don't know about. We rest in the fact that this was God's will and have to try and be the best parent's to Sam possible.
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