Questions

There are lots of questions people ask you when you tell them you are going to adopt. Some of these questions are harmless and some of these questions are going to make me pull all of my hair out before long. Questions like "Are you sure about this?", "Can you afford it?", "Did you know that adopting will completely change your life?" (they do not mean this in a good way.) What really irks me about this is that not one of these people would say these things if I told them I was having a baby. My doctor (she's new and I'm not sure I like her.) asked me the last question when I saw her this week and needed a form filled out for the agency and it struck me as highly insensitive. If I had gone in her office and told her my husband and I wanted to have a baby she probably would have told me how to go about it. Instead I felt like I had been doused in cold water. This is the reason I don't want to tell people about the adoption unless I know how they'll react. I haven't told anyone at work. I feel both selfish and cowardly. Part of this process is supposed to be a ministry. I want to challenge people to think about their own families and to think about the children who live all over this planet with no one to love them. And instead I'm hiding it because I don't want to explain myself. I don't want to tell people that yes I can have a baby, but I want S. I think God is definately a part of this process, but I also think Satan is doing everything he can to make me want to give up, to make me feel discouraged, to make me feel scared and alone. And for those of you who don't know, I'm also getting my masters. Normally it would be a bad idea to do these two things at once. But God's timing is God's timing. Tomorrow is my last day of summer classes and then I'll have two whole weeks to focus on getting the adoption stuff done. We're being held up at the moment by a million medical tests and the fact that the US passport office has the bulk of our important documentation. Next Friday is my goal to get as much of the rest of it in as possible. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.