Sammy Clause Is Coming to Town

A couple of days ago, I decided that a good nickname for Sam was Sammy Clause (And to clear up any confusion early, we don’t know when yet). But he is going to come to town eventually and it is going to be awesome. We received a little bit of Debbie Downer news today from our agency in that they have no idea when the medical committee is going to meet to decided Sam’s final diagnosis. So I am guessing that they are going on Sammy Clause’s naughty list.

I will probably never call Sam, Sammy Clause. That is a lot of responsibility trying to figure out who is naughty and who is nice. This ties directly to what we have been studying in church, the Flood. I had never really thought about this before, but when Noah entered the ark he did not shut the door of the ark. God did. That was God passing judgment on the wicked, because that ark was the only thing that could have saved them from their pending death. What is even more fascinating and very applicable to Carrie and I is that God had them wait 7 days in the ark before the flood started.

From personal experience, the waiting is the hardest. All the work leading up to the waiting seems so hard and maybe even impossible, but then the waiting starts. It is unbearable, especially, when there is no timeframe. I can imagine what I would be thinking if I was Noah. Ok, maybe I was a little crazy to spend like 100 years building a giant wooden box, and what the heck was I thinking? Then I filled it full of 2 animals of every kind, and they all smell. Did I pick the 2 smelliest of every kind? Etc… My guess is that Noah had a little more faith than I do. My evidence is Gen. 6:22, “Noah did everything just as God commanded him.” He just did it. Nike stole their slogan from Noah. Thieves.

I need to have a lot more faith like Noah and a lot less putting people on a naughty list and whining like a baby. Please pray that Carrie and I can put more faith in God’s timing.

A long time coming

I've been thinking about this post for months it seems like. It's weird to talk about and hard to think about, so posting about it was not exactly on the top of the list of things I wanted to do.

This is the post about Ellie.

We really wanted Ellie. We bought some little girl clothes and were planning where to put the crib and even painted Sam's room a gender neutral color. There were several months where it sounded like we would get her. And then a few months where they weren't sure. And then we got to Russia and were told that basically she was too sick to be adopted and that even America probably wouldn't let her enter the country.

At the time we were consumed with being in Russia and meeting Sam and it was easy to push it aside.

But I think about her daily. I'm sad that Sam won't know his sister. There will always be a little hole in our family where she would have gone.

But God has plans we don't know about. We rest in the fact that this was God's will and have to try and be the best parent's to Sam possible.

Off the Radar

I know, we've fallen off the radar again. It's no fun posting when you think your next post is going to be the "We have a court date" post and instead it's just another we have more paperwork to do, Russia is dragging its feet post.

So we have more paperwork to do, three pieces to be exact, but we can't do them without the absolutely official, final, stamped and approved medical diagnosis. Without this the rest of our paperwork can't be sumbmitted to court. We were told we would get the diagnosis today but I doubt it since it's about 7:30 p.m. in Russia right now.

On top of this neither of us has been sleeping well which is a combination of stress, the weather, and the cats.

All this makes for a grouchy Tim and Carrie.

Pray that Russia gets their stuff together and gives us the diagnosis tomorrow.

What do we deserve?

I was praying for Sam today, and somehow it crossed my mind that he deserves a family. I realized that he does not deserve a family nor do I deserve a family. Not really sure why I thought he deserves anything or why I deserve anything. I realized what Sam needs is a family, but what he needs and what he deserves are two completely different things. The same goes for me what I deserve and what I need.

I have been reading Romans, and I have been stuck on Romans 3:1-9. It is complex, but fortunately a couple of weeks ago I got a commentary from Matthew Henry. I have been reading this a lot especially in reference to those verses in Romans. There is a cross-reference to Romans 9:4, which talks about the Jews being adopted by God. It is easy to forget that the Jews were the original orphans who were adopted. They didn't deserve it, but they needed. God choose them. He could have chosen any other people, but He choose them. Nothing they ever did would justify this divine choice, but God choose them.

In fact just like us Christians (and me, especially me), they have rejected God many times from building a golden calf to doubting God abilities to provide them with the land of milk and honey. Sound familiar? It does to me. I have doubted God a lot though this process and all He has ever done is provide me with exactly what I need. It is not always what I want, but it is always what I need. He choose the Jews and He choose me, and continues to provide me with what I need, and not what I want. It is easy to get the two confused.

This really doesn't have to do with our adoption. But it more of what I am studying and how it applies to my life right now.

Randomness

I want to fill an entire post with good things. There are lots of good things going on. Really.

First off I managed to slip back into class after I thought it would be impossible so I get to take Science (a subject I loathe) with my cohort (people who are awesome). Plus time goes faster when it is filled with projects.

Secondly, I read a really good book. It's called Ida B. I read it in probably 2 hours and it was wonderful. It's about a girl in the fourth grade who is growing up on a farm when her mom gets cancer. Now usually this would be the stuff of after school specials but Ida B. is honest and sometimes mean and the whole book just rings true. I cried for the last 40 pages. And as an added bonus there is a nice little lesson about the importance of good teachers. If you are reading this and you like children's fiction you should definitely read Ida B. And if you know any little girls between the ages of 8 and 11 I know they would love it especially.

Thirdly, Dossier: the Sequel was finished on Tuesday and should be working its way to getting translated as we speak. I'm glad it's done. Thank you very much.

Fourthly, Tim and I discovered Oscar's Taco Shop which is delicious.

Fifthly, it is almost Friday.

I think that's all the good stuff this post can handle.

Expectations: Don't have them

Alternately titled "If one more person asks me for an update I may scream"

Not really, well maybe just a little bit.

Tim's last post was all excitement and good news and I hate to be the Debbie Downer on that so instead there are just no posts and everyone is left hanging, which is not nice.

We have almost all of our Dossier: part II finished, including another visit to the doctor, but when I asked Bethany for a timeline they basically said we have to wait for Sam's medical stuff and they are running slow. This is contrary to what Irina told us when we were in Russia which was pretty much that it was going to take them 4 weeks and then they would be waiting on us. Basically they said we'll be lucky if it's early July.

That means six more weeks of waiting. And I opted out of my summer classes because I thought we were leaving and I shouldn't have done that but now I think it's too late to try and re-enroll. On the upside of that my brain is completely fried for the class I'm currently in and I have five chapter summaries due tonight that I haven't started yet so it's probably best that I just let it go.

And this is just a long complain-y post about nothing. Because when people ask for updates that's what we can say. Nothing. I want to go back tomorrow. I want to hold my sweet little boy and bring him home and not have to wonder wonder wonder what he's doing. I feel like we've been holding our breath inside a tunnel and what we thought was the light at the end just ended up being someone's headlights.

Praise God's infinite wisdom and perfect timing. I'm glad he knows what he's doing because I have no idea.

Ye of Lil' Faith

So today we received our USCIS 171H. Yay (still not as wimpy was when Ben tweets it)! That means that we are approved by the US government to bring Sam here. It also means that we should be hearing about a possible court date. We are very excited. Very excited. We may even hear next week about when our court date is.

So what is all this then about lil' faith? Guess what also came today the very same day we received our USCIS approval? The original FBI background checks that no one could track or find. For those of you who missed it, we sent our fingerprints to the FBI, and they couldn't find them, so we sent another set at a great expense, but just wrote this it off as peace of mind. So we went for our peace of mind rather than trusting that God would provide. This is something He has done so much throughout this whole process. It is a good reminder that He is in control. Not a judge, a country overseas or our own or even us, because we are not in control. We try, but then we are reminded.

I will be honest that it felt like a little bit of a doubting Thomas moment when opened that package. It also was a little like the original sin in that Carrie said we should do this and I said yes we should. I need to go kick a snake's butt. Do snakes have butts? Not sure. Sorry I am really excited and anyways the point being, we both ignored that God was in control of all of this THE WHOLE TIME. Faith in God is a lesson that we never stop learning.