We have launched the website!

We have relaunched http://www.adoptascarf.com/ (we will now be selling t-shirts). Please visit and buy.

August

Did you know that August can mean three different things? Of course it's the 8th month of the Gregorian calendar. It can also mean venerable, dignified or noble. It is also apparently a type of clown.

It also means sweet relief from the interminable month that was July. July was full of a whole bunch of things we did not expect to be in Nashville for. I've never liked July in my whole life and this had to be one of the worst.

But now it's over. The judge comes back from vacation in 2 weeks and 1 day so hopefully we will find something out by the end of the month.

In other news, we are starting a new fundraiser selling awesome T-shirts designed by the one and only Tim Tweten for the very reasonable prices of $12 and $14. Go here and check them out. I for one am very excited about it.

That's all the news that's fit to print. Really. Unless you want to hear about the very long road trip we took two weeks ago to see the Superman statue in Metropolis, IL, but I don't think you do.

T-Shirt Design

We are thinking about creating some T-shirts to sell on our other site Adopt a Scarf site. We are still finalizing the details, and once we receive the shirts we will officially go live.

YAC Blog

This is a blog that I wrote for Belmont's Young Alumni Council blog.

When I wrote my last blog for YAB GAB I figured by my next my turn I would be officially a father. I would have pictures and a wonderful adoption story that I could somehow loosely tie back to Belmont or my Belmont experience. I thought I might have a story about how our son trying to serve me breakfast in bed, and syrup got everywhere. It was going to be a nice blog that would be roughly 3 paragraphs long and include 1 anecdote. However, adoption is never formulaic, and in our case we have been to Russia once and are waiting to go again. By the time you read this, we will have been back from our first trip to Russia for 3 months and are still waiting to go back to get our son.

It has now been a couple of weeks since Father’s Day, and our bed remains syrupless. It was a day for me that felt more like I had a son who was in college or beyond rather than 4 year old child. And as frustrating as it has been waiting and waiting and waiting for the last 3 months, there is hope in that frustration. Hope that someday very soon I will see my son again. Hope that a couple of weeks later, I will bring him home for the first time. Hope that someday he will have a desire to go to college. And hope that he will be a basketball star dunking over some inept Lipscomb player! In waiting there is hope.

Some Encouraging News

We received the most encouraging news this morning (excluding that we could fly to Russia tomorrow and get Sam). Irina, our agency’s contact in St. Petersburg told us that she saw Sam the other day, and that he had brought her his little photo album of pictures we had left him. She said he always walks around with his little album. I hope it holds together for a little bit longer. He is such a brave and resilient little мальчик (malʹchik - boy). I am so proud of him.

I remember when we were in Russia, and he would ask for his собака (sobaka - dog). He called the album that, because we had put a voice recording Hallmark card in the back of the album with a picture of a dog on it. Unfortunately our accents were really bad and he could only understand one of the phrases we had recorded. For the record, it was mine. I think it because I use to watch Rocky and Bullwinkle (the bad guys were Russian for all our younger readers).

If this is all true it is very encouraging, because many times older children resent being adopted. They feel like they were taken away from everything they know and being dragged halfway around the world without their permission. It is also encouraging, because it means Sam not only remembers us, but knows that we are going to be his parents which shows that there was some bonding.

The email also told us we could send some photos and a letter, and the orphanage would show them to Sam and read him the letter. This is all good news and very encouraging. It feels like fifty pounds has been lifted off of my back.

Detour

I drive to work everyday on a sort of country road. It's two lanes and it passes through a golf course but it also goes back past some historic houses and in my opinion it used to be one of the prettiest drives in all of Nashville.

And then about 9 months ago someone, somewhere, decided that the road needed to be widened for reasons I still don't understand and they yanked up all the trees and pulled done the crumbling stone walls and ripped up the concrete. And then a couple of weeks ago they started rerouting everyone around on the same road I usually turn off on. On this road is a tiny church and the church has one of those signs that they change weekly with a new pithy saying. For a whole week once the first line said "God is up to something." I liked that. I don't remember what the rest of it said but I liked the idea that God was up to something.

This week the first line is driving me nuts.

"This detour was planned"

Not exactly what I want to hear. I wanted to be mad and rail against God and shake my fist and stomp my feet. In essence I wanted to throw a temper tantrum because I felt like God had stolen something precious from me. We are missing precious weeks of Sam's life that we will never get back. Ever. And I felt robbed.

And I did not want to be reminded that every second we are alive and have breath in our lungs is a gift from God. Every minute we get with Sam, the fact that we get to be Sam's parents is a gift. God can't exactly steal something that was his to begin with.

Am I still sad? Yes. Am I trying hard to believe that this detour was planned by an almighty and sovereign God who knows something I do not? Yes. Is it easy? No. Is it good for me? Probably.

This detour was planned. And it's only a detour. We'll still get where we're going. It just may take a little longer than expected.

September

We just got an email that our judge is on Vacation until August 20th. This means that even if our paperwork is perfect and she has no problems with it we still won't be in Russia before September. I was not prepared for this.

When you are adopting the number one thing people tell you is that God's timing is perfect. While you wait and wait and wait people tell you that God has a plan and it's all for the best.

Today I don't believe that. Today I am angry and sad and miserable and this timing can't possibly be perfect. How is it perfect for my son to sit in an orphanage for 3 more months? How is it perfect for his room to continue to be empty and his toys to go unplayed with? It's not perfect. It's stupid. It's stupid and I'm angry. I'm tired of being patient and smiling and telling people that God will work it out. I'm tired of thinking about things and then thinking "Oh, we won't be here for that." and then it comes and we're still here. I'm so tired of almost being a mom.

Today is not a good day.