Would you dare to believe?

Maybe there are things you can’t see

And all those things are happening

To bring a better ending

.

Someday somehow you’ll see, you’ll see

.

Would you dare would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing

Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling

It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

.

So hold on you gotta wait for the lig ht

Press on and just fight the good fight

Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling

.

It’s just the dark before the morning

.

I heard this Josh Wilson song on the radio last night after talking to my mom about E. And I don't like to wax poetic about songs being inspirational or whatever but this is exactly the song I needed to hear. I needed to hear that God was working even if I couldn't see it and that soon all of this pain and sadness and hurting would just be a memory and none of it compares to what's ahead.

There is a box of clothes on the kitchen table. They are little girls clothes I ordered off ebay several weeks ago. They came the day before we got the email that said they didn't think we could have her. And they are still sitting there because I can't bear the thought of taking those tiny little clothes up stairs and putting them on hangers and then having to take them down and put them away. I couldn't stick them in a closet or give them to my mom, they just needed to sit there. Which seems silly to Tim. It's like if they are sitting there then there is still hope. We haven't given up.

I think I'm going to hang them up. I'm going to do it because there is something comforting about having those little clothes hang there in anticipation. And I need to believe that God is bigger than this and that he has a better plan for all of us. Other than that we are just waiting.

Waiting,
waiting,
waiting.